Let's be real for a second: finding a double sided sex toy that actually stays in place without awkward maneuvering is a massive struggle. We’ve all been there—trying to maintain a rhythm while worrying the toy is going to slip out, or realizing halfway through that the angle just isn't working for one of you.
It shouldn't be this hard to find a toy that prioritizes mutual pleasure. Whether you call it a strap-free strap-on or a double dildo, the goal is the same: closeness. You want the intimacy of scissoring with the penetration of a strap, but without the hassle of harnesses and buckles getting in the way of skin-to-skin contact.
Quick Summary: What You Need to Know
What is the best double sided toy? For most lesbian couples, the ideal choice is a U-shaped, strapless vibrator made from medical-grade silicone. It offers stability without a harness and simultaneous stimulation.
Top Pick: The Lesley: Triple-Motor Detachable Double Dildo for Lesbian Couples.
Why? Unlike rigid standard double dildos, the Lesley features a detachable design for solo or partner play, three motors for intense vibration, and an ergonomic shape that actually fits female anatomy.
What to Look for in a Strapless Double Dildo
A double sided sex toy is a dual-ended phallic toy designed to be worn internally by one partner while penetrating the other, usually without a harness.
Before you buy, you need to understand the mechanics. Not all double-ended toys are built for the same type of play. If you pick the wrong material or shape, you might end up with a toy that feels heavy, unsafe, or simply doesn't work.
1. Material Safety (The Non-Negotiable)
Always choose 100% medical-grade silicone. Cheaper materials like jelly, TPR, or PVC are porous. This means they contain microscopic holes that trap bacteria, which can lead to bacterial vaginosis (BV) or yeast infections. Porous materials also degrade over time and can leach chemicals. Silicone is non-porous, boilable, and body-safe.
2. The Shape: U-Shape vs. S-Shape
- U-Shape (Ergonomic): This design is meant for close contact. The "wearing" end is usually shorter or bulbous to stay inside the wearer using their own pelvic muscles (Kegels). This allows for face-to-face intimacy or spooning.
- Long Double-Ended (Dong): These are often two phalluses connected end-to-end. While fun, they often require a harness because they lack the stability to stay in place during vigorous movement.
3. Vibration Power
Many standard double dildos are dead weight—they don't vibrate. For many women, internal fullness is nice, but clitoral stimulation is what drives the orgasm. Looking for a toy with integrated motors ensures that the wearer gets just as much pleasure as the receiver.
Why We Recommend the Lesley for Lesbian Couples
The Lesley is a triple-motor, detachable strapless vibrator designed to solve the "slip-out" problem while maximizing clitoral contact.
We’ve tested our fair share of toys that claim to be "strapless" but end up launching across the room the moment things get sweaty. The Lesley: Triple-Motor Detachable Double Dildo for Lesbian Couples addresses this with a specific internal bulb design that anchors the toy, allowing the wearer to focus on their partner rather than clenching for dear life.
| Feature | Benefit for You |
|---|---|
| Triple-Motor Design | Simultaneous vibrations for both the wearer (internal + clitoral) and the receiver. No one is left out. |
| Detachable 2-in-1 | The vibe separates from the dildo. You can use the vibrating bullet solo, or the dildo for quieter penetration. |
| U-Shape Ergonomics | Brings bodies closer together for scissoring or spooning without a plastic barrier between you. |
| Silicone Construction | Soft, velvet-touch feel that warms to body temperature and is safe for sensitive skin. |
How to Use a Double Sided Toy: Positions & Tips
The key to mastering a double sided toy is angling and hip alignment. Unlike a strap-on where the wearer has full thrusting range, a strapless toy relies on grinding and shared hip movements. It requires communication and a bit of practice to find the "lock" where the toy stays secure.
Here are three positions that work exceptionally well with the ergonomic design of the Lesley:
1. The Enhanced Scissor (Face-to-Face)
This is the holy grail for many couples. It allows for kissing, eye contact, and clitoral grinding all at once.
- The Setup: The partner wearing the shorter end of the Lesley should lie on their back or slightly propped up on pillows. Insert the wearer's end.
- The Action: The receiving partner straddles the wearer’s thigh, facing them. Guide the longer end of the toy into the receiver.
- The Motion: Instead of pumping in and out, focus on a rocking or grinding motion. The U-shape of the toy will naturally press against both clitorises (or the clitoris and pelvic bone) as you grind together. This creates a feedback loop of vibration and pressure.
2. The Spoon (Rear Entry)
Ideal for lazy Sunday mornings or when you want deep intimacy with a different angle of penetration.
- The Setup: Both partners lie on their sides, facing the same direction (spooning). The wearer is the "big spoon" (behind).
- The Action: The wearer inserts the bulbous end. The receiver (little spoon) lifts their top leg slightly to allow access. Guide the external shaft into the receiver.
- The Motion: The wearer presses their hips forward into the receiver's glutes. This provides shallow but stimulating penetration for the receiver and intense G-spot pressure for the wearer. Since the Lesley has triple motors, the vibration against the wearer’s pelvis is transferred directly to the receiver’s back/perineum area, creating a rumbling sensation for both.
3. The Upright Rider (Cowgirl Variation)
This position gives the receiver total control over depth and speed.
- The Setup: The wearer sits on a chair or the edge of the bed, feet planted firmly on the floor. Insert the wearable end.
- The Action: The receiver sits on the wearer’s lap, facing them, and slowly lowers themselves onto the toy.
- The Motion: The receiver controls the bounce. The wearer can use their hands to caress the receiver’s breasts or hips. Because gravity helps keep the toy seated in the wearer, this is one of the most stable positions for strapless play.
Critical Safety & Hygiene: Keep It Clean
Hygiene isn't the most glamorous topic, but when you are sharing fluids and toys, it is the most important one. Proper care extends the life of your Lesley and protects your vaginal microbiome.
Lubrication Science: Water vs. Silicone
There is one golden rule you must follow: Never use silicone-based lubricant with silicone sex toys.
Why? A chemical reaction occurs where the silicone oil in the lube bonds with the silicone in your toy. This causes the surface of the toy to dissolve, become sticky, or develop microscopic pits. Once a toy is pitted, it can no longer be effectively sterilized.
Our Recommendation: Always use a high-quality water-based lubricant. It is safe for all materials and easily washes off with water. Since strapless toys require a good seal to stay in, don't over-lube the base of the wearing end, or it might slip out too easily. Focus the lube on the insertion points.
Cleaning Routine
You should clean your toy before and after every use. Here is the safest routine according to sexual health experts like Planned Parenthood:
- Remove the Motor: The Lesley is detachable. Take the vibrating element out before submerging the silicone parts. Electronics and water do not mix (unless specifically rated waterproof, but it's safer to separate them).
- Warm Water & Soap: Wash the silicone body with warm water and a mild, unscented antibacterial soap. Avoid harsh detergents or soaps with essential oils, as these can irritate the vagina later.
- Deep Clean (Optional): Since the silicone part (without the motor) is 100% silicone, you can boil it in water for 3-5 minutes to sterilize it completely. This is great if you are prone to yeast infections or BV.
- Dry Completely: Air dry or use a lint-free cloth. Store in a breathable pouch (like the one it comes with) or a clean drawer, away from other toys to avoid material reactions.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
Do double sided dildos actually stay in without a harness?
Yes, but fit is everything. A toy like the Lesley uses a bulbous internal anchor and a U-shape design to grip the pelvic muscles. However, vigorous thrusting can dislodge even the best strapless toys. They are best suited for grinding, rocking motions, and close-contact positions rather than hard pounding. If you need intense thrusting, you can wear a harness over the toy for extra security.
Can I use the Lesley toy if I am a beginner?
Absolutely. In fact, it's often better for beginners than strap-ons because it feels less intimidating and more intimate. The vibration features also help arousal, which makes insertion easier and more comfortable. Start slow, use plenty of water-based lube, and communicate with your partner.
Is it painful for the wearer?
It shouldn't be. If it hurts, the toy might be too large, or you may not be aroused enough. The wearing end of the Lesley is designed to be comfortable for prolonged wear. However, holding a toy in with your kegel muscles can be tiring after a while (it's a workout!). Take breaks if you feel muscle fatigue.
How loud are the motors?
The Lesley features whisper-quiet technology. While no vibrating toy is completely silent, especially on high settings, the sound is generally muffled by your bodies when in use. It is discreet enough that it won't ruin the mood with loud buzzing noises.
Can I use this toy for solo play?
Yes! This is one of the biggest advantages of the detachable design. You can remove the vibrating bullet for clitoral stimulation, or use one end of the silicone dildo for internal play. You don't need a partner to enjoy the medical-grade silicone or the powerful vibrations.
Final Thoughts: Elevating Your Intimacy
Choosing the best double sided sex toy is about more than just mechanics; it’s about finding a tool that helps you and your partner connect on a deeper level. By prioritizing medical-grade materials, ergonomic design, and versatility, you ensure that your playtime is safe, comfortable, and incredibly pleasurable.
If you are ready to ditch the harness and experience simultaneous satisfaction, we highly recommend trying the Lesley: Triple-Motor Detachable Double Dildo for Lesbian Couples. Its thoughtful design solves the common pitfalls of strapless play, letting you focus on what really matters: each other.
