Let's be real for a second: double-ended dildos can be intimidating. We've all seen them in movies or browsed past them online, wondering, "Okay, but how does that actually stay in?" or "Do we need to be acrobats to make this work?" If you've ever tried a standard strapless strap-on only to have it pop out every thirty seconds, you know exactly the frustration I'm talking about. It breaks the rhythm, kills the mood, and frankly, it's annoying.
But when you find the right toy and the right angle, the connection is unreal. It allows for a level of simultaneous closeness that strap-ons with harnesses sometimes block. Whether you are looking to spice up your bedroom routine or find a solution that actually fits two bodies comfortably, this guide covers the practicalities, the safety, and the fun stuff.
Quick Summary: The "TL;DR"
What is the best position for beginners? The "Face-to-Face Embrace" (Lotus) is the easiest starting point because it offers maximum stability and intimacy without requiring advanced flexibility.
Common Pain Point: Most generic double dildos are too straight or rigid, causing them to slip out during movement.
Our Top Recommendation: We recommend the Lesley: Triple-Motor Detachable Double Dildo for Lesbian Couples. Its U-shape design naturally hugs the pelvic bone for hands-free stability, and the detachable feature means you get three toys in one (double play + two solo vibes).
What is a Double Ended Dildo?
A double-ended dildo is a single sex toy designed with two insertable ends, allowing two partners to be penetrated simultaneously (usually vaginally, though anal options exist). Unlike a strap-on, which relies on a harness for stability, a true "strapless" double dildo usually relies on the pelvic muscles of the wearer (the "giver") to hold one end in place while penetrating the "receiver."
However, the engineering matters. A straight stick doesn't account for the curvature of the human pelvis. This is why ergonomic designs—often U-shaped or C-shaped—are superior for extended play.
Why Design Matters: The Lesley Advantage
Before we jump into the positions, we need to address the hardware. If you are using a cheap, rigid stick, no amount of creative positioning will make it comfortable. We tested various shapes, and the difference between a straight toy and an ergonomic one is night and day.
| Feature | Standard Double Dildo | Bombex Lesley |
|---|---|---|
| Stability | Often slips out; requires constant hand adjustment. | U-Shape design hooks behind the pelvic bone for hands-free wear. |
| Stimulation | Usually passive (no motor) or weak single motor. | Triple motors stimulating both partners simultaneously. |
| Versatility | One fixed shape. | Detachable 2-in-1 structure for solo or couple play. |
4 Best Double Ended Dildo Positions (Step-by-Step)
Success with a double dildo is 80% geometry and 20% relaxation. Because there is no harness strapping it to your hips, you and your partner create the tension that holds the toy in place. Here are the four most effective positions we found for the Lesley: Triple-Motor Detachable Double Dildo.
1. The Lotus (Face-to-Face Embrace)
Best for: Intimacy, eye contact, and beginners.
This is arguably the most romantic position and the easiest for maintaining stability. It allows you to kiss and sync your breathing while keeping the toy secure between you.
- The Setup: Have the "wearer" (the partner holding the shorter or more bulbous end) sit cross-legged or with legs slightly extended on the bed, leaning back against pillows for support.
- Insertion: The wearer inserts their end first. Because the Lesley has a U-shape, the toy should curve upwards naturally.
- The Connection: The "receiver" straddles the wearer, lowering themselves onto the other end of the toy.
- The Movement: Wrap your legs around each other’s waists. This interlocking of legs pushes your pelvises together, creating the necessary pressure to keep the toy inside both of you. Rock your hips in a grinding motion rather than thrusting in and out. The grinding stimulates the clitoris against the base of the toy while the internal motors do the heavy lifting.
2. The Modified Scissors (Side-Lying)
Best for: Deep relaxation and long, lazy Sunday morning sessions.
Scissoring gets a bad rap for being awkward to maneuver, but adding a double dildo actually fixes the mechanics. The toy bridges the gap that usually makes tribbing difficult.
- The Setup: Both partners lie on their sides facing each other.
- Insertion: One partner lifts their top leg, allowing the other to slide between their thighs. The wearer inserts the base end.
- The Connection: The receiver scoots closer, angling their hips so the second end can enter. You may need to form a slight "V" shape with your bodies rather than being perfectly parallel.
- The Movement: Intertwine your legs. The top leg of the wearer should go over the receiver's hip, and vice versa. This "locking" mechanism keeps the toy secure. Use your hands to pull each other’s hips closer for deeper penetration. This position is excellent for clitoral friction, and since you are lying down, you won't get tired as quickly.
3. The Double-Doggy (Rear Entry)
Best for: Deep penetration and G-spot stimulation.
This position offers a different angle of stimulation, often hitting the anterior wall of the vagina (the G-spot) more directly.
- The Setup: The receiver gets on hands and knees (or rests on their elbows/chest for a steeper angle).
- Insertion: The wearer kneels behind the receiver. Insert the wearer's end first.
- The Connection: The wearer leans forward, guiding the external end into the receiver.
- The Movement: This position requires the wearer to stay very close to the receiver's glutes. If you pull back too far, the toy will slip. Instead of long thrusts, focus on short, rhythmic pulses. The Lesley's triple motors are particularly effective here because the vibration travels directly to the G-spot for both partners simultaneously. Use your hands to hold the receiver's hips to maintain that crucial contact.
4. The Stacked Spoon
Best for: Clitoral access and hand stimulation.
Similar to spooning, but with a vertical twist that allows for better toy retention.
- The Setup: The receiver lies on their back. The wearer lies on top of them, face down.
- Insertion: The wearer straddles the receiver’s thigh or slides between their legs.
- The Connection: This is a very tight, flush position. The wearer lowers themselves until both ends are inserted.
- The Movement: Because gravity is helping the wearer keep the toy in place, this is one of the most stable positions. It allows both partners to have their hands free to touch clitorises, breasts, or use additional toys. The weight of the partner on top adds a sensation of grounding and pressure that many find extremely arousing.
Critical Safety & Hygiene: Don't Skip This
We cannot stress this enough: not all sex toys are created equal. When you are putting something inside your body—especially something shared between two bodies simultaneously—safety is the priority. The Sexual Medicine Society of North America emphasizes that safe sex toy use is vital to prevent passing on infections or blood-borne pathogens.
1. Material Matters: Avoid "Jelly" Toys
Always check the material list. You want 100% medical-grade silicone.
Why? Porous materials like TPR, TPE, and "Jelly" rubber contain microscopic holes that trap bacteria. No amount of scrubbing can fully sterilize them. Furthermore, porous toys often contain phthalates, which are chemical plasticizers linked to reproductive health issues. Planned Parenthood specifically advises avoiding porous "jelly" toys in favor of non-porous materials like silicone or hard plastic for this reason. The Lesley is made from body-safe silicone, making it non-porous, hypoallergenic, and boil-safe.
2. The Science of Lubrication
Friction is the enemy of pleasure. With double penetration, you have two entry points, meaning you need double the lube.
The Golden Rule: Never use silicone-based lubricant with silicone toys. The chemical reaction can degrade the surface of your toy, turning it gummy and ruining it permanently.
The Solution: Stick to high-quality water-based lubricants. Look for options that are free of glycerin and parabens to avoid yeast infections or bacterial vaginosis (BV). If the lube dries out during your session, just add a little water or apply more lube—don't try to "power through" dryness, as this causes micro-tears in the vaginal tissue.
3. Cleaning Routine
Hygiene isn't just about wiping it down. Here is the proper protocol to prevent UTI transmission or bacterial issues:
- Before Play: As per the Mayo Clinic's guidelines for using sex toys safely, wash the toy with warm water and a dedicated toy cleaner or mild, fragrance-free soap.
- During Play: If you are switching ends (i.e., the end that was in Partner A is now going into Partner B), you must clean the toy or use a condom on the ends. Bacterial flora varies from person to person, and sharing fluids can sometimes disrupt pH balance.
- After Play: Wash thoroughly. Since the Lesley is detachable and waterproof, you can separate the parts to ensure no moisture gets trapped in the crevices. Dry with a lint-free cloth or let it air dry completely before storing it in a breathable pouch (not a plastic bag).
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
How do I stop the double dildo from falling out?
This is the most common issue. First, ensure you are using a toy with an ergonomic shape (like a U-shape) rather than a straight stick. Second, use positions that keep your pelvises pressed together, such as the Lotus or Scissoring. Finally, doing Kegel exercises can help you grip the internal bulb more effectively.
Can we use a double dildo if we have a significant height difference?
Yes, but you may need to adjust your positioning. The "Doggy" style or "Spooning" positions often work best for height differences because they allow for more independent movement than face-to-face positions, which require legs to interlock.
Is the Lesley double dildo quiet?
Yes. While it packs triple motors for deep stimulation, it is designed to be discreet. You can enjoy the vibrations without the sound overpowering your music or conversation.
Can I use the Lesley toy alone?
Absolutely. One of the best features of the Lesley is its detachable design. You can separate the pieces to use them as standalone vibrators for solo play, making it a versatile investment.
Do we need to wear condoms on the toy?
If you and your partner have different STI statuses or if you are prone to bacterial vaginosis, using condoms on both ends of the toy makes cleanup easier and prevents fluid exchange. Just ensure the condoms are compatible with your water-based lube.
Final Thoughts
Exploring double-ended toys is a journey of coordination, laughter, and incredible closeness. It might take a try or two to find the angle that hits just right, but once you do, the shared sensation is unlike anything else.
Remember to prioritize safety by choosing medical-grade silicone and keeping plenty of water-based lube on hand. If you are ready to upgrade your experience with a toy that actually stays in place and offers versatile power, check out the Lesley: Triple-Motor Detachable Double Dildo for Lesbian Couples. It’s designed to solve the very problems that make standard toys frustrating, letting you focus on the pleasure, not the logistics.
