Let’s be real for a second: finding a double headed strap on that actually fits two people comfortably is harder than finding a pair of jeans that fits perfectly on the first try. You want closeness, you want simultaneous stimulation, but you usually end up with a toy that slips out, angles weirdly, or leaves one partner doing all the work while the other just tries to hold on.
We’ve all been there. The idea of mutual play is hot, but the logistics can be tricky without the right gear. Whether you are exploring lesbian sex toys for the first time or looking to upgrade your bedroom game, we’ve done the testing to help you navigate the options. Below, we’re breaking down exactly how to choose the right fit, safe usage, and our top recommendation for keeping things hot and hands-free.
Quick Summary: The "TL;DR"
What is a double headed strap on? Also known as a strapless strap-on or double dildo, this is a sex toy designed with two insertable ends allowing partners to be connected intimately during sex, usually face-to-face or spooning, often without a harness.
Our Top Pick: The Lesley: Triple-Motor Detachable Double Dildo for Lesbian Couples.
Why? It solves the "slipping out" problem with a U-shaped ergonomic design, offers triple-motor stimulation (so the wearer gets off too), and detaches for solo play. It’s the Swiss Army Knife of lesbian pleasure.
What to Look For: Buying Criteria
What matters most when buying a double dildo? The three non-negotiables are material safety, ergonomic fit (shape), and motor placement.
If you grab the first toy you see on Amazon, you might end up with something rigid and uncomfortable. Here is the breakdown of what actually makes a toy work for two bodies:
- Material Safety (Body-Safe Silicone): This is priority number one. You need 100% medical-grade silicone. It is non-porous, meaning it won’t harbor bacteria, and it warms up to body temperature. Avoid "jelly" or "TPR/TPE" materials, which are porous and can trap bacteria, leading to infections.
- The Shape (U-Shape vs. Straight): Old-school double dildos were often straight sticks. These are terrible for ergonomics because our bodies have curves. A U-shaped design or a C-shape allows the "wearer" to hold the toy in place using their pelvic muscles and pubic bone, while the "receiver" end is angled correctly for penetration.
- Vibration & Motor Placement: Many double dildos are dead silicone—no buzz. The best options, like the Lesley: Triple-Motor Detachable Double Dildo for Lesbian Couples, include internal motors. Look for motors that stimulate both ends so the wearer isn't just a service provider but a participant in the pleasure.
Product Spotlight: Why We Recommend The Lesley
Why is the Lesley our specific recommendation? Because it addresses the most common complaint with strapless strap ons: lack of stability and lack of wearer stimulation.
Most generic double dildos require an intense amount of Kegel strength to keep in place, turning sex into a workout. We compared the standard market options against the Bombex Lesley to show you the difference:
| Feature | Generic Double Dildo | BOMBEX Lesley |
|---|---|---|
| Stability | Often slips out; requires harness. | U-Shape grips the pelvic bone naturally. |
| Stimulation | Usually non-vibrating. | 3 Motors (Internal + External Clitoral). |
| Versatility | One piece, couple use only. | Detachable for solo or couple play. |
| Material | Varies (often suspicious jelly). | Premium Body-Safe Silicone. |
The standout feature here is the detachable design. Sometimes you want the intimacy of a double-ended connection, and sometimes you just want a great vibrator for solo play. The Lesley allows you to pull the vibrating bullet unit out or separate the heads, effectively giving you two or three toys for the price of one.
Positions Guide: How to Actually Make It Work
How do you use a double headed strap on without it being awkward? The key is body alignment and using gravity to your advantage.
If you have tried strapless play before and failed, don't worry. It takes practice and the right angles. Here are three positions specifically suited for the U-shape design of the Lesley: Triple-Motor Detachable Double Dildo for Lesbian Couples.
1. The Scissor Face-Off (Intimacy Focused)
This is the classic position for mutual connection. It allows for deep kissing and eye contact while the toy bridges the gap between you.
- The Setup: Both partners lie on their sides, facing each other.
- The Insertion: The wearing partner inserts the shorter or bulbous end (depending on the toy design) first. Once secure, interlace your legs. One of the receiving partner's legs should go between the wearing partner's legs.
- The Motion: This is less about thrusting in and out and more about grinding. The U-shape of the toy will naturally rock against the clitoris of the wearer while stimulating the G-spot of the receiver. Use your thighs to press against each other for added stability.
- Pro Tip: Keep your movements slow. Grinding allows the clitoral vibrator on the Lesley to maintain constant contact.
2. The Lazy Spoon (Comfort Focused)
Perfect for lazy Sunday mornings or when you want deep penetration from behind.
- The Setup: Both partners lie on their sides facing the same direction (Little Spoon and Big Spoon).
- The Insertion: The "Big Spoon" wears the toy. Because you are behind your partner, you can use your hand to guide the external end into the "Little Spoon."
- The Motion: The wearer can press their hips firmly into the partner's glutes. This compresses the toy, ensuring the internal end stays deep inside the wearer while the external shaft thrusts into the receiver.
- Stability Hack: The wearer should squeeze their PC muscles (Kegels) to grip the internal bulb. This helps prevent the "pop-out" that happens when things get slippery.
3. The Rider (Control Focused)
This position gives the wearing partner the most control over depth and pace, minimizing the chance of the toy slipping.
- The Setup: The receiving partner lies flat on their back. The wearing partner straddles them (Cowgirl style).
- The Insertion: The wearer inserts their end first and squats down over the receiver. You may need a hand to guide the second head in.
- The Motion: The partner on top controls the depth by raising and lowering their hips. Gravity is your best friend here—it keeps the toy seated firmly inside the wearer.
- Why it works: The vertical pressure ensures the U-shape base of the Lesley sits flush against the wearer’s vulva, maximizing the vibration transfer to the clitoris.
Critical Safety & Hygiene: Don't Skip This
Is silicone safe? Yes, but only if you treat it right. Your sexual health depends on understanding the chemistry of your toys.
The Golden Rule of Lubrication
You absolutely must use Water-Based Lubricant with high-quality silicone toys like the Lesley. Here is the science: Silicone is lipophilic (oil-loving). If you use a silicone-based lubricant on a silicone toy, the two materials will react chemically. The lubricant will essentially "melt" the surface of the toy, making it gummy and porous. Once a toy becomes porous, it can trap microscopic bacteria that you cannot wash out, leading to bacterial vaginosis (BV) or yeast infections.
We recommend a high-quality, glycerin-free water-based lube. Apply it generously to both ends of the toy and both partners. Since water-based lube can dry out, keep the bottle nearby for re-application.
Proper Cleaning Routine
Because the Lesley: Triple-Motor Detachable Double Dildo for Lesbian Couples is made of medical-grade silicone, it is non-porous and easy to sterilize. However, because it has motors, you cannot boil the motor unit.
- Remove the Motors: Before cleaning, detach the vibrating elements if possible (check the manual for waterproofing details). The silicone sleeve itself is usually fully submersible.
- Soap and Water: Wash the silicone body with warm water and mild, fragrance-free soap. Avoid harsh chemicals or bleach.
- Boiling (Silicone Parts Only): For a deep clean, you can boil the pure silicone parts (without motors) in water for 3-5 minutes. This kills virtually all pathogens.
- Drying: Pat dry with a lint-free towel or let it air dry completely before storing. Storing a damp toy in a dark place is a recipe for mold.
For more information on material safety, reliable sources like Healthline provide excellent guidelines on keeping your playtime hygienic.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do I keep a strapless strap-on from falling out?
This is the #1 struggle. First, ensure you have a toy with an ergonomic bulb or U-shape, like the Lesley, which hooks behind the pubic bone. Second, engage your pelvic floor muscles (Kegels) to grip the internal end. Finally, try positions where gravity helps, like "The Rider" (wearer on top), rather than positions where the toy is fighting gravity.
Can I use the Lesley double dildo for solo play?
Absolutely. One of the best features of the Lesley: Triple-Motor Detachable Double Dildo for Lesbian Couples is its modular design. You can use the vibrating end for solo penetration or clitoral stimulation when your partner isn't around. It is effectively a 2-in-1 toy.
Does size matter for double headed dildos?
Yes, but not in the way you think. Length is less important than the "bridge" (the space between the two heads). If the bridge is too long, the bodies are too far apart for intimacy. If it's too short, it can be cramped. A flexible silicone bridge allows for better adjustment to different body types.
Does it hurt the wearing partner?
It should not hurt. If it hurts, the toy may be too large, or you may not be using enough lubricant. The wearing end of the Lesley is designed to be bulbous but comfortable. Always start slow, use plenty of lube, and communicate. If you feel pain, stop and adjust.
Can we use a harness with a strapless dildo?
Many strapless dildos can be worn with a harness for extra security, provided the harness is the "open O-ring" style and fits snugly. However, the Lesley is designed to stay put without one, giving you a more natural, skin-to-skin experience.
Final Thoughts
Exploring mutual pleasure with a double headed strap on is an exciting way to deepen your intimacy and physical connection. It removes the barrier of "taking turns" and allows you to experience shared sensations in real-time. While there is a learning curve to the mechanics, choosing a high-quality, ergonomic toy makes all the difference.
If you are ready to ditch the harness and try something designed specifically for female anatomy, we highly recommend checking out the Lesley: Triple-Motor Detachable Double Dildo for Lesbian Couples. With its body-safe silicone, triple motors, and stable U-shape design, it is the best friend your bedroom has been waiting for.
