Let’s be real: Buying your first strapon is exciting, but it can also feel a little overwhelming. You scroll through pages of harnesses that look like rock climbing gear and dildos the size of a forearm, and suddenly the "fun" part feels like a confusing homework assignment.
If you are looking for the best beginner strapons, you aren't alone. We hear from couples constantly who want to explore strap play but are worried about complicated buckles, sizing issues, or the dreaded "disconnect" where the wearer doesn't feel any pleasure. The good news? The technology has evolved. You don't necessarily need a leather harness to get the job done anymore.
Quick Summary: What is the Best Beginner Setup?
The Quick Answer: For most first-timers, a strapless double dildo is superior to a traditional harness setup. It removes the hassle of straps, offers stimulation for both partners simultaneously, and feels more intimate.
Our Top Pick: We recommend the BOMBEX Lesley: Triple-Motor Detachable Double Dildo. Its U-shape design stays secure without buckles, and the triple motors ensure the wearer isn't just a "service provider" but an active participant in the pleasure.
What Actually Makes a Strapon "Beginner Friendly"?
What is a beginner-friendly strapon? A beginner strapon is a wearable toy that prioritizes ease of setup, moderate sizing, and wearer comfort over advanced customization or extreme size.
When you are shopping for your first wearable, ignore the bells and whistles and focus on these three non-negotiables:
- The Material (Safety First): You need 100% medical-grade silicone. If a toy smells like chemical tires or feels "jelly-like," it is likely porous, meaning it can trap bacteria. We only recommend body-safe silicone.
- The Wearability (Stability): Nothing ruins the mood faster than a toy flopping around or falling out. Beginners often struggle with traditional harnesses because adjusting the straps correctly takes practice. Ergonomic, strapless options use your own anatomy (Kegel muscles) and shape to stay in place.
- The Feedback (Wearer Pleasure): In a traditional setup, the wearer often feels "numb" to the action. For a better emotional connection, look for toys that vibrate against the wearer’s clitoris or G-spot while penetrating the partner.
Harness vs. Strapless: Why We Suggest Going Strapless
If you are new to this, the idea of strapping on a harness might feel a bit… clinical. This is where strapless options (often called double dildos) shine. They rely on a U-shaped design where one end goes inside the wearer and the longer end goes into the receiver.
Here is a breakdown of why we lean toward strapless designs like the BOMBEX Lesley for beginners:
| Feature | Traditional Harness Setup | Strapless (BOMBEX Lesley) |
|---|---|---|
| Setup Time | 5-10 minutes (adjusting buckles) | Instant (Insert and play) |
| Wearer Sensation | Minimal (often padded blockage) | High (Internal & external vibration) |
| Stability | Secure, but can chafe | Natural feel (requires light muscle control) |
| Intimacy | Hardware between bodies | Skin-to-skin contact |
The Lesley stands out because it solves the biggest complaint of strapless toys: slipping out. Its bulbous internal anchor is ergonomically designed to sit comfortably inside the wearer, while the triple-motor design ensures that both the internal arm and the external shaft vibrate. Plus, it’s a 2-in-1 detachable toy, so if you decide you want to use the vibrating element for solo play later, you can.
Step-by-Step Guide: Best Positions for First Timers
Once you have your Lesley Double Dildo, the next question is usually, "Okay, how do we actually do this?" The geometry of two bodies plus a toy can be tricky at first. We recommend these four positions to maximize stability and eye contact.
1. The Lotus (Face-to-Face)
This is the holy grail for intimacy and stability. It allows for full-body contact and makes it very easy for the wearer to keep the toy in place.
- The Setup: The receiving partner sits cross-legged on the bed. The wearing partner sits on the receiver's lap, wrapping their legs around the receiver's waist.
- Why it works: Gravity helps keep the strapless toy seated securely inside the wearer. Because you are hugging, you can easily whisper feedback to each other.
- Tip: Use the "rocking" motion rather than thrusting. Grind your hips together in a rhythmic figure-eight motion. This stimulates the clitoris for both partners (if using the Lesley) while maintaining connection.
2. The Lazy Spoon
Perfect for a relaxed Sunday morning or if you are feeling a bit nervous and want to avoid the intensity of eye contact immediately.
- The Setup: Both partners lie on their sides facing the same direction. The wearer is the "big spoon" behind the receiver.
- Why it works: This position is shallow and slow. The wearer can use one hand to stimulate the receiver's clitoris or breasts while using their hips to gently push the toy in.
- Tip: The wearer should lift their top leg slightly and hook it over the receiver’s thigh. This angle helps angle the toy correctly without it slipping out.
3. The Modified Missionary
This is the classic, but with a twist for strapless users. It gives the wearer the most control over depth.
- The Setup: The receiver lies on their back with pillows under their hips to tilt the pelvis up. The wearer climbs on top, kneeling between the receiver's legs.
- Why it works: By elevating the receiver's hips, you align the vaginal canals, making entry smoother. The wearer can place their hands on the bed for stability.
- Tip: If you are using the Lesley, activate the vibration before insertion. The rumble helps relax the muscles, making the initial penetration much more comfortable for the beginner receiver.
4. The Chair Straddle
If you want deep penetration without the athletic workout, use furniture.
- The Setup: The wearer sits on a sturdy, armless chair. The receiver straddles the wearer, facing them, and slowly lowers themselves onto the toy.
- Why it works: The receiver has 100% control over the depth and speed. If it feels too intense, they simply stop lowering. The wearer can focus entirely on kissing and caressing.
- Tip: This is arguably the best position for the wearer to keep a strapless toy secure, as the chair seat provides external pressure to keep the internal bulb in place.
Critical Safety, Hygiene & Lube Science
We cannot stress this enough: your sexual health depends on how you treat your toys. Because you are introducing a foreign object into two bodies, hygiene is paramount.
The Golden Rule of Lubrication
Never use silicone-based lube with silicone toys. This is a scientific reality, not a suggestion. Silicone lube and silicone toys share the same chemical base. Over time, the lube will break down the surface of your toy, creating microscopic pits where bacteria can breed. This turns your beautiful medical-grade toy into a petri dish.
The Solution: Always stick to high-quality, water-based lubricants. They are safe for all materials, easy to clean up, and won't damage your Lesley Double Dildo. Since water-based lube can dry out, keep the bottle nearby to reapply generously.
Proper Cleaning Routine
You should clean your toy before and after every single use. Here is the 3-step routine:
- Wash: Use warm water and mild, unscented soap (or a dedicated toy cleaner). Avoid harsh chemicals or bleach.
- Rinse: thoroughly to remove all soap residue, which can cause irritation.
- Dry completely: Use a lint-free cloth. Do not store the toy while it is damp, as mold loves moisture.
Note on Boiling: Since the BOMBEX Lesley is made of high-quality silicone, the non-motorized parts can technically be boiled for sterilization. However, since the Lesley contains motors, do not boil the motor unit. Wipe the motorized sections carefully with a damp cloth and toy cleaner instead.
Storage Matters
Silicone toys should not touch other toys in your drawer. Different chemical compounds can react (a process called "melting"), ruining your collection. Always store your toys in individual fabric pouches—like the one that comes with your Bombex order—to keep them dust-free and safe.
Frequently Asked Questions
Will a strapless strapon fall out easily?
It can happen if the fit isn't right, but ergonomic designs like the BOMBEX Lesley use a bulbous internal shape and a grippy silicone texture to minimize this. Using Kegel muscles (squeezing your pelvic floor) helps hold it in place. Positions where legs are closer together, like the "Lotus" or "Scissors," also add external stability.
Does using a strapon hurt the first time?
It should not be painful! If it hurts, stop. Pain usually means lack of lubrication or not enough foreplay. Start with plenty of water-based lube and use your fingers first to relax the muscles. The Lesley's tapered tip is designed to help with gradual, comfortable entry.
Can I use the Lesley Double Dildo for solo play?
Absolutely. One of the best features of the Lesley is its detachable design. You can separate the vibrating unit for solo external stimulation, or use the insertable end for solo vaginal play. It is a versatile investment.
Is it quiet? We have roommates.
We know discretion is key. The motors in the Lesley are powerful but designed to be whisper-quiet. Under the covers, the sound is negligible, so you don't have to worry about broadcasting your session to the rest of the house.
Why choose silicone over other materials?
According to sexual health resources like Planned Parenthood, non-porous materials like silicone are the safest because they don't harbor bacteria. Cheaper materials like jelly or PVC are porous and can leach chemicals called phthalates, which we strictly avoid.
Ready to Try?
Exploring strap play is a journey of trust and fun. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to be an acrobat on the first night. Start with a high-quality, body-safe toy that does the work for you.
If you are ready to ditch the complicated harnesses and try something that feels natural and exciting for both partners, check out the Lesley: Triple-Motor Detachable Double Dildo for Lesbian Couples. It’s the perfect wingman for your new adventure.
